Saturday, July 02, 2005

The Death Star's pub

I finally had a day off today so I was able to check out some of the goodies around the "Death Star." I know I've mentioned it before, but this place is ridiculously big. If there was ever a power outage, I think everyone would be screwed. Without elevators, no one could get anywhere. They do have little motorized carts that go around, but I think you have to get a permit to get that. And they're not giving those out to turbolaser supervisors who have only been here a week.

First place I went to check out Death Splash Bar and Grill. There are lounge areas on the Star Destroyer, but nothing like this. It's a big place, certainly the same size as any major cantina or club in Coruscant's entertainment district. The decor is a mix of Imperial memorabilia and sports holos and vids from across the galaxy. There's a history of Imperial uniforms, the evolution of the clone/stormtrooper armor, models of each ship in the fleet. Bright screens surround the tables and stools broadcasting every sport imaginable in the galaxy. Tucked away in one corner is a holo arcade with 5 or 6 different games. I would have checked it out, but I spied Captain Stupid hanging out over there and remaining inconspicuous seemed to be the wiser option.

There's also a stage, so I'm assuming they will have live music or some other events. The place has to entertain several thousand people, so it's gotta have a variety of stuff.

I'm not sure if the Emperor authorized it all, as some of the wall holos are not exactly the most dignified stuff. One holo is of Emperor Palpatine in his younger days as a Naboo senator. It's off the holonet news and it's a gathering of senators at a charity sonicball game. Here's how it went:

Holonet interviewer: Senator Palpatine, why did you throw your support to this charity sonicball game?

Palpatine: It really comes down to supporting what's best for Naboo and other systems like our dear world. The credits raised here will be used to revitalize certain areas that are in danger of being harmed by our modern technology.

Holonet interviewer: That's really a wonderful cause, Senator. Now, are you participating in the sonicball match or are you here to donate your time?

Palpatine: Young lady, you flatter me. I'm not nearly strong enough to participate in sonicball, even if it is an exhibition match. I'm afraid these young players would run over my tired old body. (Palpatine gives a wry smirk) Back in my younger days, I did participate in a number of different sports, and I did have a knack for throwing the sonicball quite well...

At this point, the players warming up in the background lose control of the sonicball. Off camera, someone shouts, "Look out!" and the sonicball comes flying toward the camera. Palpatine turns around only to have it smack him square in the face. He bends over holding his head and it must have knocked him pretty darn good, because his eyes are so irritated with tears they appear a bright yellowish red. One of the players in the background yells, "Sorry!" and the holonet interviewer asks Palpatine if he is all right repeatedly. Palpatine blinks back his irritated tears and his eyes slowly return to normal as his jaw unlocks from a furious grimace. He offers a weak smile.

Palpatine: Well, you see, I would not be strong enough to participate in this match, my dear.

Holonet interviewer: I'm so glad you are all right, Senator. We'll let you go so you can get some treatment.

As the holonet interviewer is signing off, Palpatine bends down and picks up the sonicball. One of the players is waving for the throw even though he's all the way down the court. Palpatine must have channeled his fury or something into that throw because he launches the ball with the speed faster than my turbolasers. The player catches the ball and stumbles backwards, his teammates gawking in stunned silence. Palpatine smiles to himself and walks off camera.

So apparently, he wasn't kidding about having sonicball experience. Maybe he'll participate in the intra-station league.


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