Saturday, June 18, 2005

This is why I left home

Once I managed to wake up my butt from eight hours of sitting and listening to Grand Moff Tarkin discuss every technical aspect of the "Death Star," it was time to go have dinner with the family. As I previously mentioned, my folks are pretty average people in suburban Coruscant. My sister is a singer at the Galactic Opera House, which obviously knocks me down the "We're proud of you" chain. I can't carry a tune or be adored by thousands of people each night, but I have the power to order a guy in a funny helmet to clean his turbolaser control unit. Yeah!

I arrived a little late for dinner only to find Grumpy Sister and her new boyfriend (a holonet actor) already there chatting away. Apparently, the news of the day was that the Rebels attacked a frigate in the Entnue system filled with medical supplies, school toys, and a children's theater crew.

Mom: Grumpy Moff, you're late! We've only got a few precious ours before you ship off to the Kill Star and you show up late?

GM: Mom, I got held up at the briefing. And it's the DEATH Star. Not Kill Star, not Murder Station, not Death Moon. Death. Star. (sigh) Anyways, Tarkin likes to talk for hours and hours. I think technical data is his version of pornography.

Dad: Don't you be brining up pornography around your family. We raised you better than that. You've been spending too much time with those Imperial types. I bet they all have filthy military mouths.

GM: I'm not in the military. I'm in maintenance. And besides, they're cool guys.

Sister: Are you gonna go hunt down those damn Rebels? They keep blowing up childrens supplies! What heartless people would destroy a convoy of toys?

Dumb Boyfriend: Rebel scum...they've never known pain and suffering. What are they complaining about? We give them security, entertainment, peace, and they go around blowing up the galaxy. I was reading for a holonet movie role about a Rebel pilot and I just couldn't get into the mentality to grasp the role. They're so vile, so ruthless.

GM: You know, um, I've spent quite a while on ships investigating Rebel attacks and honestly, I don't think we've ever come across destroyed children's toys. They seem to hit ammo dumps and supply centers.

Dumb Boyfriend: You're so blind! Don't you watch the news? Palpatine was just on naming all of the different types of toys that the Rebels blew up in the last attack. Model ships, action figures, stuffed zoo creatures...those poor, poor children.

GM: How can I be blind if I'm out there on the mission? The Devastator picked up survivors from five attacks over the past year, all military related.

Sister: Well, obviously, they're feeding you the wrong information. They could lie to their little troops, but they wouldn't lie to us. Everyone knows Palpatine is an honest ruler.

Mom: That's right! Why, I remember when the Jedi attacked him. You two were both so young, but it was a very frightening time. I knew after that he would be the strongest leader we could have.

Dad: Damn old man's been through a lot. I don't know how he keeps it all together.

GM: I'm not saying Palpatine's good or bad. I'm not saying the Rebels are not terrorists. I'm just saying that maybe they're...exaggerating the news a little bit. You know, to make it more dramatic. To give people like him (points to Dumb Boyfriend) stupid things to make holo-movies about.

Dumb Boyfriend: Watch it buddy, I'll kick your...

Dad: That's enough. We are here to enjoy a nice dinner as a family.

Of course, the subject didn't drop, it just took a 10 minute break. For the next three hours, I actually found myself defending the Rebels actions. Not cause I agreed or disagreed with them - hell, the only reason I think I'm in the Empire is because I was born to it. My ideology is really just "Look out for #1 and hot Twi'Leks," not the Empire rules or sucks or whatever. I get a paycheck, hand out with my crewmates, and that's that. But I'm definitely disturbed at this...disinformation the Empire is handing out. We obviously don't see any of it because we (at least on the Devastator) had more important tasks on hand, but apparently the civilian holonet is filled with this. And it's been so ingrained in the minds of the public that I couldn't even convince them that the Rebels had only struck military targets on my watch.

The only good thing about the evening was my mom didn't ask about my lovelife. I'd much rather discuss politics than that any day.


Blogger Bubbles, Ink. said...

what are death star? what have you insane?

10:00 AM  
Blogger Pat Kirby said...

Dinner with the folks and sister's dumb ass-boyfriend are a pain, even in a galaxy far, far away.

11:10 AM  

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