Sunday, June 26, 2005

Life on the "Death Star"

Sorry for the lack of an update over the past few days. It's been fairly hectic as we've been unpacking and getting situated here on the "Death Star." My initial reactions with the place - it's really, really, really, really big. Very easy to get lost here. The interior designer must have been depressed or something because it's all blacks and greys. Granted, that's pretty standard Imperial stuff, but on the Devastator, each section had some minor variations 1) to give it SOME life and 2) so we wouldn't get hopelessly lost.

Here's how bad it was. All of the officer quarters are lumped together in one gigantic section in the lower half of the station. Nope, they didn't break it up by section that you were assigned to, everyone is in this giant lump of rooms regardless of where you have to work. That means some poor bastard probably has to travel from one corner of the station to the other while some people (like me) only have to walk about 5 minutes to get to work. The technical designer of the place was a genius, but whoever came up with the practical logistics of the place should be blasted. The rooms are actually quite spacious, just a tad bigger than those on the Devastator. I haven't had time to check out the bar & grill or any of the sports/exercise facilities, but I'm sure I'll get to that soon.

Oh, and did I mention that my next door neighbor is Captain Stupid? Yes, he has gone from random annoying acquaintence on the Devastator to daily horrific encounter. I'll relay the story of how he managed to get transferred here in my next posting, I want to focus on the practicalities involved with living here first.

As was rumored, there are no offices, at least not for the turbolaser divisions. Instead, we have soft-walled 'cubes' - four foot tall dividers separating desks and work stations. Everyone who sits around me is a fellow turbolaser supervisor, though we all have different teams under out watch. My suspicions about the complete lack of privacy were absolutely correct. There's no way I can get away with goofing off around here. I'm either going to have to become severely less efficient at what I do (i.e. take 8 hours to do what I usually do in 2) or figure out a way to look busy and not get bored. This will be a challenge.

My 'work section' mates are, well, pretty bland and a little f. I've only met one of the guys, Officer Big Nose (cruel, but it is his most striking quality), and he appears to be a much more dedicated worker than I am. This was our initial conversation:

Grumpy Moff: Hey, how's it going? Guess we'll be sitting by each other.

Officer Big Nose: Yeah, I'm excited. I'm so glad they got rid of the offices and put up the cube sections. I love being able to see what my peers are doing - that's the best way to learn and to become a better officer.

GM: Um...yeah...that sounds good. So I guess I won't watch my dancing Twi'Lek holos while you're around, huh? (nervous laugh as I try to gauge his response)

OBN: (stern frown) You are joking, right?

GM: Oh, um, of course! I would never watch something like that during working hours. That's why we have our quarters, right? (meekly) Heh heh...heh.

OBN: I feel the exact same way. You should never let your personal desires interfere with your duty. That's not the Imperial way.

GM: Yup. I'm, um, all about duty and...stuff. (sigh) Glad I'm on board with such a...dedicated team.

OBN: Yes, I have a feeling we'll have the best turbolaser crews in the galaxy! (he gives a hearty fist pump - I match with semi-enthusiastic fist pump that comes off more like I'm shaking a chance cube in my palm)

My worst fears have been realized. Not only has the privacy of my office been taken away, I'm stationed next to a psychotically duty-filled Imperial nut. Duty is all well and good, but I'm pretty much happy doing the bare minimum that keeps the Emperor from noticing I exist while I collect a paycheck. I am currently concocting a way to decorate my cube so I can shield what I am doing from any passer bys and nosy neighboring officers.


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